Yeah! It’s a Book

Kind of a boring title isn’t it?

Let’s make it interesting, shall we!

I was a scared kid, so scared that I’d lock myself up in my room for hours at end, not letting in even a tiny sliver of sunshine, let alone a person. Or should I say, my parents? I knew something is bugging me a great deal and yet I couldn’t fathom what it was. I’ve seen people getting all jacked up and traversing in another world; which only appeared to be interesting and magical, interpreting from their daily “TED TALKS” on worldly matters. In fact, my destiny was the main game player in isolating me from anything I deemed good for myself, by default. The sense of insecurity that had crawled up its way in my mind from that point has held me back ever since, from accepting any meaningful friendship or relationship, be it with my parents. From what I’ve experienced, isolation and insecurity are what make a good person evil; that too of a kind, very difficult to get rid of. Why? Because its dependent upon you and at the same time will curse you for every minute for every single thing that went wrong in his life.

 

scary simpson

 

Overreacting, Am I?

The jumpy little kid in me blamed my sister for getting married too early; depriving me of a brotherly-sisterly companionship which anyway we didn’t develop even when we lived together. I blamed my parents for years for taking a sudden decision of getting her married when I knew she was in far better place and position than she was before. You see needless cries. Without a base! I just needed some sort of hang, claiming it as mine.

Delusional, Am I?

I blamed my best friends for making new friends. I didn’t accept any new friends because I thought they wouldn’t understand the “PAIN” I was going through, even if they wanted to I would just insult them or walk away quietly into the dark empty spaces all alone with my thoughts. I just didn’t want to talk to anybody. I thought I was bearing the greatest burden of the world, the irony being that I didn’t even know what it was if I would’ve known it precisely it might’ve have been less tiring and painful. Crying daily and abusing my loved ones became a routine for me. Now, who would want to be friends with such a depressed kid! After all, everyone was a teenager. Everyone wanted friendships but nobody wanted a sad depressed kid in their group.

 

depressed

 

My fault, was it?

I didn’t know that my behavior would ultimately create such thick boundaries between me and my parents, friends, and relatives that I’d become helpless and isolated to the point that I craved for acceptance from strangers. Only because they didn’t know my confused self. I was fully aware of the fact that everyone who loves me is just around the corner. All I have to do was mumble “I NEED YOUR HELP” and my mind would have gained the companionship it wanted. You may think that if I was insecure, socially isolated the best way to get rid of these things is to just talk with someone but these two anomalies bring another dangerous casualty with them, “ARROGANCE”. I was so arrogant that I preferred to ask help from someone who is entirely unknown to me, than from a person who cared. Maybe the fact that in past I’ve ignored and vilified about them scared me, that they would do the same in return. I also tried to travel in another world for finding solutions of the problems that were annoying me persistently by getting all jacked up but unfortunately, nothing worked out.

Crazy, was I?

Pardon the pretty depressing chapter of my early life.  I still haven’t grown much but I’m older enough to accept that I have made mistakes and would want to move on with new energy and enthusiasm.

So somehow, I realized the importance of understanding what I wanted to do henceforth or, putting it in a more sophisticated way, how I wanted my life to unfold in coming years.

Enlightened, I was!

It’s getting kind of jumbled. Let’s remedy that shall we?

Journey back to the middle era of your middle school. You may recall frequent Mathematics, Science, Social-Science, English grammar and words test during which a faculty quickly commands us to take out a couple of papers out of their copy and write our name and roll number on it. You, being the lazy king of all ,would very innocently ask your friend “bhai ek beech ka page dede yar”. Atleast once you would’ve heard “yar beech ka page to nahi hai, akhiri wala page fad deta hu In the course of plucking out the end page or any other page that couldn’t be detached as easily as “beech ka page”, another page out of nowhere, most probably from the other end of the notebook automatically comes out with it. Till yesterday it seemed like a trivial and worthless thing to remember but soon I’ll tell you the beauty, this tiny thing beholds in it.

Those who have read my previous articles may know that I’m a big fan of Mr. Steve Jobs. I was totally mesmerized by the journey he went through from starting Apple in his parents’ garage and making it one of the most valuable companies of the Silicon Valley and the world.  I also penned down an article on how Mr. Steve Jobs was influenced from Zen Buddhism and accordingly incorporated the same simplicity in the products of Apple. Mr. Walter Issacson has done a commendable job in writing such an informative and astonishing account in his BOOK: The autobiography of Steve Jobs.

 

Jobs working in garage
Jobs working in garage

 

Now you may note that this man went through a lot of hardships in creating Apple. And now this whole comprehensive account is captured in a BOOK. A BOOK?  SERIOUSLY? The whole travelling up to Japan, being the man of honor in launching new products in different stadiums; halls in just a bunch of pages! Alright I may be out of sorts but seriously can a 15$ BOOK truly quote someone’s 33 years of hardships? You may think “what a load of crap” But it happened. It big fat did. So it wouldn’t be wrong to say that a mere book contained his whole life.

Now let’s broaden our imagination and look very closely.

Ready?

Okay….  Just think of it objectively as a BOOK and not the person it was written for. Maybe in one of the pages there’s a description of Jobs embracing Zen Buddhism. Now imagine that page internally connected to the page describing Jobs lecturing his team to focus more on Simplicity. Try to feel the beauty in it, like a random page having an internal connection with a page somewhere in the other half of the book. Like those “beech ka nahi, akhiri wala page during the tests. Just because he displayed interest in Zen he was able to achieve that feat of simplicity he wanted. The text written in one page of the BOOK somehow automatically got connected with the context mentioned in the another page of the BOOK.

 

steve jobs
The autobiography of Steve Jobs

 

Mesmerized, I was!

The things we put as an input today, may somehow, sooner or later will yield the outcomes. If our inputs are productive, 95% chances are there for a productive return in distant future. But you can be sure of one thing. It will be productive.

Sorted, now I am.

So imagine your life as a blank notebook with the number of pages equal to the days you’re alive. Clearly every page in one half of the book is linked to some other page in another half of a book. Now you decide what inputs you would want to ink down in today’s blank page, such that years later, it could yield a desired outcome. You can scribble abusive language and needless cries on today’s page just like I did and could expect isolation and hatred from others via linked blank in future; Or you can forget and forgive the faults and invest productive inputs in it for better returns in future blank page, because the truth is that everything will come around; unfolded-truths, hatred, love, hard work, passion. The thing that will matter is what you scribble on your today’s page.

YOUR CHOICE…

Right, Am I?

 

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